Rambling...

Haven't posted in a couple days. Not much happening I suppose. I got the results to my bloodwork on Thursday. Thyroid is good, glucose is good, progesterone is good, everything is normal. So doc put in a referral for me to go see an reproductive endocrinologist (sp). I guess I should be happy about it but I am kind of bummed. I was hoping a hormone was just off track or something and he could have just gave me a pill or something to take for a month to fix it. But since everything came back good with the bloodwork then there is another reason I'm not pregnant yet. It's kinda frustrating. I have alot on my mind. I don't want to say what it is but I do know God will provide and meet our needs. Please lift us in prayer.

Why "Bring The Rain"?

Yesterday I was feeling really down and depressed. It officially hit the 19 month mark of trying to conceive our first child together. I started thinking about if the first pregnancy would have stuck...that baby would have been 9 months old. Then I started thinking about the second pregnancy that ended way too early and how I would be 6 months along with that one. I tested yesterday in hopes I'd get my positive pregnancy test because of how beautiful my chart was looking. It was negative. I was crushed. My charts are so misleading. I wanted to give up. I wanted to forget about even wanting a baby and just put it in the past. Then I went to youtube.com to listen to music. I typed in "Bring on the rain"...its a JoDee Messina song. I seen a song on there from MercyMe called "Bring the rain"...out of curiousity I clicked on it. After listening to the words I knew it was God speaking to me. Immediately my mood changed. I was no longer depressed and crying. I started praying. I wanted to feel more of God. I was so comforted by the words of the song. I've been asked by people "How can you have so much faith in God?" How can I not? He is my rock and I live by His promise. How can I turn away from His love? I hope the words of this song touches you also! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kseRKxkq5iY

Introduction

I was thinking about starting a blog for some time now. I have so many thoughts running through my mind at times. I'm hoping this is something that others who are struggling in the same journey I am, can read and relate and know they are not alone. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for 19 months. I am the proud step mom of two beautiful girls. I sometimes feel like a failure knowing my husband's ex gave him two beautiful kids but I am struggling to just carry and deliver one for him. This blog will be about my TTC journey along with other everyday thoughts. Anything I feel like writing about really. It is faith based. I am a daughter of the King. I KNOW my heavenly father won't let me down. I was told I would have children. I am standing firm on that promise God has given me. I am human so I struggle with my faith at times. Everytime I hear about another woman getting pregnant, or having an "oopsie" because she wasn't even trying...I feel like God forgot about me eventhough I know He hasn't. So anyway, here it is. I hope, if anything, someone can come on here and read and relate and just feel better knowing they aren't alone in this struggle.